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Success (n)-

[1] the accomplishment of an aim or purpose

[2] the attainment of popularity or profit

[3] a person or thing that achieves desired aims or attains prosperity

Where I'm at in life, I like this definition. However, I think the interpretation of success changes from person to person; it is subjective. Have you ever really thought about it? What is your definition of success? Is it by the books or is it more dynamic than that?

As a junior in high school, I fell in love with the business world and I did enough to teach myself how capitalism and the U.S. system worked. The epicenter of the scope of success, to me, became net worth. Many people, and especially those who don’t understand wealth, simply don’t recognize or comprehend the master key that you obtain and the many doors that you can unlock once you get some money.

I remember as an attendee of the Rose Banquet (a ceremony for the top ten graduates of each public high school in Springfield) I had publically submitted that I one day wanted to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company like Nike… And that’s where it all started- a genuine passion turned goal. It was absolutely ambitious, but it was also absolutely real.

However, not long after I started getting a grasp on American business, my desired aims started evolving; the goals stayed mostly the same, but the motives changed.

I still remain extremely career-focused, but I became romantic with business when I started studying entrepreneurship in college. The idea of creating something, growing it, managing it, and riding it into the sunset became a dream that rivals fatherhood to me. There was a unique personal stake in entrepreneurship that began to change the way I saw things through my farsighted outlook on life.

Building off of this, the older I get, the more success becomes interchangeable with purpose. You have to do what is important to you and you have to live for yourself. I closed my first entry saying that you can't be happy trying to fulfill other's dreams- this is why, in the opening paragraph of this entry, I prodded you to think about your personal purpose and what success you are chasing.

I know that many people, and worry that some of my friends, are still stuck on doing what they think other people would approve of most. I worry that some value potential job offers based on how much it would impress their peers. I worry that some seek awards to solidify in their minds that others think they are just great. I worry that they are not living for themselves. I worry that they are following an external definition of success.

I understand that recognition is a healthy need for many people, and I can’t deny that I enjoy recognition for my own work. I would be lying if I said my awards at MizzouRec, my recognition in the business school, recent successful interviews, appreciations for my writing, etc. don’t lift me up after busting my ass throughout college. However, I have always had an unwavering confidence in what I was doing and what I wanted to do in the future. If the recognition were to have failed, the chip on my shoulder that would have then filled the void would have motivated me just as much, if not more. My goals would have been undeterred.

Now, as opinionated as I am about my friends and as abrasive as my suggested mindsets and goals can be, they all know that I love them. I want the best for them and I want them to be happy. They know they are important to me.

Part of this assertiveness stems from the importance of the effects of whom you keep company with; your network is your biggest asset. Although I have never thought about my friends as assets, I have always been very aware of putting myself around other ambitious people. That's not to say I don't have a ton of friends that have different outlooks on life, but my closest ones have dreams of making it big and are doing things to make those dreams come true. In fact, the ones that don't want to do much for themselves end up naturally whittling their way out of my life, no matter how much I try to pull them along with me

It's a hard thing to deal with, cutting ties with people. My dad always had a timeless quote that resonated throughout the family business and makes more and more sense every time I do run into the situation: "you can't help people that won't help themselves." Combine this with a long-term, goal-oriented focus and it makes those tough, calloused decisions a little easier.

Speaking of my family, I was lucky enough to have them come visit me a few weekends ago, and for my brother to stay with me. What especially struck me was that I found myself telling him many of the same things I put in the blog. After all, the aim of the blog is to keep things real and offer the thoughts that cross through my consciousness the most.

Josh and I have always been competitive and I firmly believe sibling rivalry is a generally healthy part of growing up. However, I think it can get extremely dangerous when it becomes an overarching theme in your life. The exact same thing goes for friendships- it all leads back to my idea that you can't let yourself fall into the trap of living your life according to other people. Your success should be defined by you.

We had great conversation, Josh and I, as only brothers separated geographically can over beers. Of course we reminisced, but we also talked about potential jobs for each of us, my business travels, our goals, our dreams- the future. All in all, I think it was a good weekend to realize that although sibling rivalry always exists, the competition takes a drastic turn when you mature. We are now seemingly closer than we have ever been, even though we see each other just once every few months.

I made it a point to introduce him to my core group of friends, mainly because they make me cooler, but also so he could get a better idea of who I've become in the last four years of living across the state on my own and spending time throughout the country. For everyone that showed up at Harpo’s that Saturday night, I thank you for passing along a message to my brother that simply wouldn’t be the same if I were to do it.

"Your brother is a good person to have on your side."

"Your brother is gonna' do big things, man."

"Your brother is a pretty cool dude, Josh."

As awesome as it was for Josh to see this side of things, I think it probably hit me harder. Here are my friends that spend most of their time roasting me (as I do with them) opening up to a complete stranger and a major stakeholder in my life... and saying nothing but awesome things. I appreciate you.

I just hit four pages in Word and worry that if I write much more, I'll lose the direction of this entry. So I'll wrap it all up with a few ending remarks and save my other branching thoughts for another entry.

As the end of my undergrad career is closing in, my ever-evolving idea of success in business is seemingly becoming more stable. However, as I continue to grow (older and wiser maybe lol), I also continue to learn that although success is important to me, it isn’t the definition of my life’s purpose. There are other things to think about.

When I left for Mizzou, I was extremely head-strong and independently reassured. My family mattered, of course, but it wasn’t until recent years that I started to fully appreciate everything that they have offered me. My temperament has stayed the same, but my expression has not.

Focused on my goals, the thought of starting my own family was a distant humor. I walked through downtown Dallas last week with one of my buddies while we visited for a job interview and had a deep conversation about our life plans. Mine looked something like this:

18 years old- embark on my college journey; discover who I am.

22 years old- graduate from Mizzou with an undergraduate business degree and a few minors; find a good starting job.

27(ish) years old- obtain an MBA and exalt a career change or an otherwise significant move within the job I have.

30(ish) years old- start a family?

Is that too late? Will I have missed it? What is the time frame?

It’s crazy to me now, and even people who I’m just now meeting but becoming strangely close to are forcing me to ponder it all. As I’m finishing this entry 30,000 feet in the air on a plane to Columbus for another interview, and listening to throwback “soft love song” albums by the Weeknd, the irony of this hypothetical family-work balance I’m placing on myself only grows more obscure. I guess time will tell…

Lastly and simply, my friends play a vital part in my idea of purpose. I have always prided myself on serving as a loyal friend, especially a loyal best friend. My fellow CLPers, close coworkers, and a small assortment of random friends have collectively become people I plan to grow old with, and really people I can’t imagine life without- they define me.

In conclusion, I think it is important to search for your purpose in life. Is it solely success? Do you aim to become the best mother or father in the world? Would you die happy amongst a brotherhood to which you gave everything you possibly could, while it did the same for you? For me, it is an evasive concoction of all three, in which the recipe is always changing. How about you?